#  Kristi Andersen & Goldie Shabad 

 



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##  Kristi Andersen & Goldie Shabad

###  In 1976, we defended our University of Chicago dissertations — together in the same room! That was convenient for everyone, and somehow considered legitimate by the U of C (or possibly the facts were concealed from the administration). Sid was on both committees, and he presented us with a poem in honor of the occasion. It is a wonderful poem.   
  
What joy to see  
A Ph.D.  
Come to its full fruition.  
Today it’s true  
We’re seeing two  
Complete their awesome mission.  
  
Crystal and gold,   
So I've been told  
Both sparkle in the light.   
Kristi and Goldie,  
So I've been toldie,   
Are equally as bright.  
  
Each has created,   
Has dissertated  
The requisite number of pages.   
With tables and graphs-­  
Alas, not many laughs--  
Their works will last for ages.  
  
You 've gotta believe   
What they did achieve  
Took patience, effort, and time.   
Their results are clear.  
If you're longing to hear,  
They can be summarized in rhyme.  
  
The first is Kristi.   
Our eyes all grow misty  
When we think of her daring assignment.  
Her task was just this:  
To show all others did miss  
The basis for realignment.  
  
Converse may rave,  
Key turn in his grave,  
Miller may stamp and stomper;   
Sundquist complain,  
Burnham feel pain,  
And Gerry may loudly Pomper.  
  
But they cannot deny--   
They would not dare try-­  
Her cogent new explanation.  
The voters who switch  
To a party' s new pitch  
Are those without immunization.  
  
The findings, I fear,   
Will cost us all dear  
And change all campaign calculation.   
To keep voters immune  
From the opposition 's tune   
You give them a vaccination.  
  
It won 't even matter   
How candidates chatter  
Or if their speeches are witty and clever.   
You take the voters you 've got,  
Give them a shot,  
And they're yours for ever and ever.  
  
Kristi's new theory  
Cannot make us cheery:  
What are rational voters to do?   
If they switch their vote,   
We'll all stand and gloat,  
And say it's like catching swine flu.  
  
The next one we've got   
Is Goldie Shabad.  
Her work took a different direction.   
She wanted to know  
Who was running the show  
When you have socialist leader selection.  
  
Compared with Kristi,   
Her task was more risky.  
Though a whole nation I would not malign,   
The scholar who must  
Survive Slovenian lust  
Has put her body on the line.  
  
The socialist goal  
Of worker control,   
This topic was Goldie’s choice.   
Would the Yugoslav polity   
Achieve more equality   
By giving the workers more voice?   
  
There 's no doubt about  
How her research comes out,  
And which workers rise to the top:  
Those with drive and will,   
With technical skill,  
Their ascension no one can stop.  
  
Hard work and devotion   
Perpetual motion,  
Education and status help as well.   
The capitalist credo  
Exists under Tito;  
Milton Friedman would consider it swell.  
  
This short exegesis  
Of Goldie 's new thesis  
Would make any true socialist sigh.   
It means that the fate  
Of each socialist state  
Is to be run by a Norman Nie.  
  
So let’s rise and say   
A loud hip hooray;   
Two new certified scholars we cherish.   
May they never turn back  
As they speed down life’s tenure track;  
May they publish and never perish. 



 



 

 See also:- [ remembrance ](/sid/remembrance)